UTurn^TV

In this video Jules asks how do you deal with stresses of birthday cake buying in your workplace?  Is it a source of stress, or have you adopted a share and share alike attitude – even if one person in your team refuses to buy cakes on their birthday.  Teams work best if you can cultivate an atmosphere of open, honest communication.  Is that your team?

Yesterday was a lovely sunny day and my friend and I decided to have a day out at the seaside.  However, when I walked out of my front door I noticed rather a lot of cigarette ends lying either side of the front steps.  I live in a big old house that has been converted into 5 apartments and as most of the folks who live there are renting we get to see new faces on a relatively regular basis.

Obviously tenants agreements will state that no smoking is allowed inside the building which means that smokers need to stand outside the building when they want to smoke.

Truthfully my initial reaction to seeing all of these cigarette buts was one of offence.  It makes the approach to the building look awful (in my opinion).  Worse that many of the buts were littered underneath my bedroom window which is on the ground floor.   Fortunately my bedroom window has been closed recently but won’t be from now onwards as the weather improves.

It’s obvious that what I consider to be acceptable standards of behaviour is not the same as for other people.  I do know that if I was a smoker I wouldn’t drop my buts at the front door and take the risk of offending others.  If I want it to stop I’m going to have to do something about it.  I’m not sure what that might be yet as I don’t know who is responsible and what might be a good approach that would not cause offence in return.

Whilst mulling this tiny problem it reminded me of managers that I have worked with who don’t take the time to define acceptable standards and behaviours for their teams.

Too many businesses have publicised their standards of ‘excellent customer service’, and thereby acceptable behaviour, because they have worked out how they can deliver their service cost effectively and within the boundaries of current resources.

The most effective teams I have ever worked with have been those who have defined and communicated what they consider to be acceptable standards and behaviours whilst at work.  Attending to the detail of how a team behaves shows elegant team management.

What is acceptable behaviour?  In my experience acceptable standards and behaviour tend to be driven by customers needs.  For example, some customers like an informal chatty approach on the telephone but others would find this unacceptable and would prefer a more formal approach.  As the manager, if you don’t communicate this to your team and leave them to their ‘best efforts’ it could sour future relationships and have long term repercussions.

The best and easiest way to identify what your customers want in terms of behaviour is to ask them.  It seems fairly obvious but not many team managers I know have gone to these lengths.  What is ‘excellent customer service’ to you isn’t necessarily ‘excellent’ to me.  One of my customers was quite happy to be kept informed of updates and progress via email with minimal words and was happy with just facts and figures.  I found this out by calling him and being told, in a very straighforward manner, that he didn’t have time for ‘chatting’.  Other customers felt happier if phone calls were made so that a nice, ‘get to know you’ conversation could take place.

Taking the step of asking your customers how they would like the service delivered to them would ensure several things:

1. You would have a vehicle for discussing acceptable standards with your team
2. You will be able to communicate clearly with and to your team about what is acceptable and thereby, what is not
3. More than likely, you will have impressed your customers by the fact that you have taken the time to ask them what they want
4. You will have created the potential for discussions about increasing business or selling other services with your customer

In approaching team management in this way you are doing everything you can to improve the image of you and your team.  For those team members who don’t want to play the game, you also have a vehicle for managing performance or managing them out of the business if need be.

With the increase in internet/social media marketing it’s never been easier for your customers to find an alternative supplier so it’s critical that you create great relationships with them that secures their loyalty for the long term.  Taking the time to understand what they consider acceptable in your team’s behaviour may take a bit of time but will ultimately reap the greatest rewards.

I would love to hear your views and thoughts on the above so please take the time to comment.  It would be greatly appreciated.

Jules

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Delivering one to one management training, you would think, would be a fairly straightforward activity once to you are practiced and expert at what you do.  However, I found myself in a very unusual situation with client last week that really took me by surprise.

The previous week I had spent two days with this client and their team delivering my team building event called Moments of Clarity.  Two days with the same group of people giving them the time and space to explore all of their team issues gives me the chance to really understand what makes them tick, how they work together and what their main issues are.

In my experience, the manager is usually at fault for many of the issues teams suffer.  Lack of consistency in the application of the ‘rules of operation’, failing to share the vision and avoiding dealing with conflict situations for fear of further disruption or not being liked are all fairly common.  In many ways this team were no different, so when I was preparing for the first one to one session with the manager I felt confident that I had a good idea of how the session was going to shape up.

Cripes was I wrong.  I always use a basic questionnaire as a starting point, part of which asks the client to rate themselves out of 10 in various management disciplines and this always gives me a place to start.  As I adopt a fairly loose and intuitive style with clients I will often find we’ve gone off down a path that I hadn’t planned for but we always end up in the right place, talking about and resolving the issues that really matter.

The beginning of the session was fine and progressed as I expected.  However, after a while I began to notice that as I was explaining ways of tackling certain management situations my client kept nodding and saying “yes, I already do that”.  My client had rated themselves as 5 out of 10 in many of the typical management disciplines such as ‘Conducting Effective Meetings’, ‘Time Management’, ‘Motivating Staff’, etc etc which I could see this was completely at odds with their experience and knowledge.

Further exploration uncovered that this client is actually a very skilled manager, possessing the right skills, knowledge and attitude to take their team forward successfully.  What we uncovered was that they didn’t feel like a good manager.  At first I didn’t quite know what to do but after a little more conversation I realised that this client didn’t need my help.  They just needed to understand and accept that they were actually a good enough manager.

This lack of understanding and acceptance was rooted in personal issues that I am not qualified to assist with.  So we came to an agreement that my client would use the next session already booked with me to do some work with another professional that I work with occasionally who I know would be much better placed to help with the issues we talked about.

Reflecting a few days later I know I have made the right recommendations but it has thrown up some thoughts for me that I would like to share with those managers out there who feel that they could do better.

Please check your knowledge and skill levels by researching management skills on the internet, reading the latest management technique books or revisiting materials from previous training courses – not with the aim of learning something new but with the aim of comparing it against what you’re already doing.  Be brutally honest with yourself – don’t use false modesty as a way of not bragging or being big headed.  If you are doing all of the things that you should be doing, give yourself a tick in the box.  Feel proud of what you’ve achieved to date and celebrate all of the good things that you do for your company and your team.

It’s the easiest thing in the world to talk yourself down because you are the one person you’ll believe – aren’t you?

Obviously, if you have never received any management training then getting some would probably help but don’t automatically assume that because you’ve never had any that you’re not a good manager.

If you are very brave you can always ask your team what they think of you by giving them a 360 degree anonymous feedback questionnaire to complete.  It’s not for the fainthearted and if you’re interested get in touch and I can send you the questionnaire and talk you through it.

It often seems to me that we live in a culture of regularly pointing out the negative and worst in people.  Our newspapers and TV are full of ‘not good enough’ messages from not pretty enough, not thin enough, not skilled enough, not nice enough – the list is endless.  So much so that it’s easy to see why many of us think we might not be good enough managers.  My client is a good manager and if you are having doubts about your skills and competency as a manager maybe you should give it a little more thought and give yourself a bit less of a hard time.

As always, I would love to know what you think and more particularly, whether this has struck a chord with you and whether you are actually good enough as a manager.

I look forward to hearing from you and if you need a bit of inspiration to help you along the way this always does it for me (If you don’t feel comfortable with the word ‘God’ feel free to replace it with ‘universe’ or ‘the world’ as you prefer – it still works):

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson is from her book, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3 (Pg. 190-191).

The following management tips will help improve your managment style and take it to a higher and more human level:

Be More Compassionate

The next time you feel a flash of irritation at something one of your team has done incorrectly try to stop yourself from reacting and imagine that the person in question is a very dear friend or family member.  Imagine how you would deal with the issue if they were someone that you cared about deeply.  By adopting a more compassionate attitude towards them you will begin to build bridges and better relationships.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.  Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

Separate the Issue from the Emotion

When things go wrong and teams are not functioning, too much time is spent dealing with the emotional effects of a business issue that needs to be resolved.  Phone slamming, crying in the toilets, bitching about the boss (you!) are all symptomatic of underlying issues that are not being addressed.  Try asking your team members why they are behaving that way instead of telling them their behaviour is inappropriate.  Whilst it is important to acknowledge the emotion and accept that it is valid it is wasteful management spending time trying to train someone not to behave inappropriately – you are not their parent.  Understand the cause and a solution can very quickly be found.

“In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.” – John Gottman, Ph.D.

Empathise

Make it part of your management strategy to spend time truly understanding the stresses and strains of your teams’ work.  I’ve never believed that you should be able to do everyone’s job in your team to be a good manager but I do know that being able to empathise with their perspective will instantly make you a better manager.  Ask them how they feel about their job, their environment, their colleagues, the team as a whole and as they answer your questions imagine you’re in front of a mirror and it’s you saying it.  Spend time afterwards checking in on how you felt.

Empathy is full presence to what’s alive in the other person at this moment. John Cunningham

Be Authentic

When you are operating every day as the authentic you it allows you to show your team (and your senior managers) the best of you.  The real you will make decisions that are for the benefit of all: you, your team, your senior managment and your organisation.  If you hide the real you with  a mask of insecurity or artifice I believe that those you work with will see it, even if it’s not consciously understood, they will always have that niggling feeling that ‘something isn’t right’ and will never trust you.

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” – William Shakespeare

Be Straight and Honest – Always

You always know when someone is lying to you, or being nice rather than hurt your feelings.  Even if you are never 100% sure what the lie was, something in you will walk away from the conversation with a ‘feeling’ that something wasn’t quite right.  If you acknowledge this to be true then it follows that it will be the same for the people you work with.  We often fear the consequences of giving someone a piece of news that we feel would hurt or anger them.  This does not give the person you are talking to any credit for being able to deal with the absolute truth.  Practice in front of a mirror a difficult conversation you need to have without dressing it up, masking it or adding your personal view and edge to it.  Then practice it on a trusted friend who will give you feedback on how you came across.  Even if you need to deliver distressing news, human beings all deserve to be respected by giving them the truth so that they can have an opportunity to react appropriately.  To deny them this opportunity is wasteful and creates unnecessary emotional reactions which make your job twice as difficult.

Where is there dignity unless there is honesty? Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC)

Be Genuinely Kind

A genuine act of kindness will always be seen as just that.  Your ability to be genuinely kind will dramatically improve your relationships with your staff.  Perhaps one of your team would really appreciate the chance to leave 10 minutes earlier this week to help with a particular childcare problem, or perhaps you can offer a non-judgemental listening ear to someone who is having relationship problems?  Even the smallest act of kindness such as making the tea will be appreciated, even by the most cynical.  If you can do this without any expectation of compensation or return your team will be loyal to you and go the extra mile when you need them to.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.  ~ Samuel Johnson

Challenge your perceptions

Always remember that even if you are all in the same room, everyone will have a different view of it.  We all have our own particular viewpoint on any issue presented to us but rarely take the time to check what others see or feel.  When you ask someone their perspective you can often be surprised by their take on an issue.  Remember that no-one’s view is right or wrong we all just have different perspectives on things.  Asking your team their views and, wherever possible, incorporating them into your solutions will make your team feel valued and respected.

Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view. – Obi-Wan Kenobi

Many thanks to Brian Johnson at www.philosophersnotes.com for providing a wonderful quotes resource.