UTurn^TV

Delivering one to one management training, you would think, would be a fairly straightforward activity once to you are practiced and expert at what you do.  However, I found myself in a very unusual situation with client last week that really took me by surprise.

The previous week I had spent two days with this client and their team delivering my team building event called Moments of Clarity.  Two days with the same group of people giving them the time and space to explore all of their team issues gives me the chance to really understand what makes them tick, how they work together and what their main issues are.

In my experience, the manager is usually at fault for many of the issues teams suffer.  Lack of consistency in the application of the ‘rules of operation’, failing to share the vision and avoiding dealing with conflict situations for fear of further disruption or not being liked are all fairly common.  In many ways this team were no different, so when I was preparing for the first one to one session with the manager I felt confident that I had a good idea of how the session was going to shape up.

Cripes was I wrong.  I always use a basic questionnaire as a starting point, part of which asks the client to rate themselves out of 10 in various management disciplines and this always gives me a place to start.  As I adopt a fairly loose and intuitive style with clients I will often find we’ve gone off down a path that I hadn’t planned for but we always end up in the right place, talking about and resolving the issues that really matter.

The beginning of the session was fine and progressed as I expected.  However, after a while I began to notice that as I was explaining ways of tackling certain management situations my client kept nodding and saying “yes, I already do that”.  My client had rated themselves as 5 out of 10 in many of the typical management disciplines such as ‘Conducting Effective Meetings’, ‘Time Management’, ‘Motivating Staff’, etc etc which I could see this was completely at odds with their experience and knowledge.

Further exploration uncovered that this client is actually a very skilled manager, possessing the right skills, knowledge and attitude to take their team forward successfully.  What we uncovered was that they didn’t feel like a good manager.  At first I didn’t quite know what to do but after a little more conversation I realised that this client didn’t need my help.  They just needed to understand and accept that they were actually a good enough manager.

This lack of understanding and acceptance was rooted in personal issues that I am not qualified to assist with.  So we came to an agreement that my client would use the next session already booked with me to do some work with another professional that I work with occasionally who I know would be much better placed to help with the issues we talked about.

Reflecting a few days later I know I have made the right recommendations but it has thrown up some thoughts for me that I would like to share with those managers out there who feel that they could do better.

Please check your knowledge and skill levels by researching management skills on the internet, reading the latest management technique books or revisiting materials from previous training courses – not with the aim of learning something new but with the aim of comparing it against what you’re already doing.  Be brutally honest with yourself – don’t use false modesty as a way of not bragging or being big headed.  If you are doing all of the things that you should be doing, give yourself a tick in the box.  Feel proud of what you’ve achieved to date and celebrate all of the good things that you do for your company and your team.

It’s the easiest thing in the world to talk yourself down because you are the one person you’ll believe – aren’t you?

Obviously, if you have never received any management training then getting some would probably help but don’t automatically assume that because you’ve never had any that you’re not a good manager.

If you are very brave you can always ask your team what they think of you by giving them a 360 degree anonymous feedback questionnaire to complete.  It’s not for the fainthearted and if you’re interested get in touch and I can send you the questionnaire and talk you through it.

It often seems to me that we live in a culture of regularly pointing out the negative and worst in people.  Our newspapers and TV are full of ‘not good enough’ messages from not pretty enough, not thin enough, not skilled enough, not nice enough – the list is endless.  So much so that it’s easy to see why many of us think we might not be good enough managers.  My client is a good manager and if you are having doubts about your skills and competency as a manager maybe you should give it a little more thought and give yourself a bit less of a hard time.

As always, I would love to know what you think and more particularly, whether this has struck a chord with you and whether you are actually good enough as a manager.

I look forward to hearing from you and if you need a bit of inspiration to help you along the way this always does it for me (If you don’t feel comfortable with the word ‘God’ feel free to replace it with ‘universe’ or ‘the world’ as you prefer – it still works):

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson is from her book, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3 (Pg. 190-191).

Posted in: Management Training
Tags:A Return to Love,fear,management skills,Management Training,manager,Marianne Williamson