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The following management tips will help improve your managment style and take it to a higher and more human level:

Be More Compassionate

The next time you feel a flash of irritation at something one of your team has done incorrectly try to stop yourself from reacting and imagine that the person in question is a very dear friend or family member.  Imagine how you would deal with the issue if they were someone that you cared about deeply.  By adopting a more compassionate attitude towards them you will begin to build bridges and better relationships.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.  Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

Separate the Issue from the Emotion

When things go wrong and teams are not functioning, too much time is spent dealing with the emotional effects of a business issue that needs to be resolved.  Phone slamming, crying in the toilets, bitching about the boss (you!) are all symptomatic of underlying issues that are not being addressed.  Try asking your team members why they are behaving that way instead of telling them their behaviour is inappropriate.  Whilst it is important to acknowledge the emotion and accept that it is valid it is wasteful management spending time trying to train someone not to behave inappropriately – you are not their parent.  Understand the cause and a solution can very quickly be found.

“In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.” – John Gottman, Ph.D.

Empathise

Make it part of your management strategy to spend time truly understanding the stresses and strains of your teams’ work.  I’ve never believed that you should be able to do everyone’s job in your team to be a good manager but I do know that being able to empathise with their perspective will instantly make you a better manager.  Ask them how they feel about their job, their environment, their colleagues, the team as a whole and as they answer your questions imagine you’re in front of a mirror and it’s you saying it.  Spend time afterwards checking in on how you felt.

Empathy is full presence to what’s alive in the other person at this moment. John Cunningham

Be Authentic

When you are operating every day as the authentic you it allows you to show your team (and your senior managers) the best of you.  The real you will make decisions that are for the benefit of all: you, your team, your senior managment and your organisation.  If you hide the real you with  a mask of insecurity or artifice I believe that those you work with will see it, even if it’s not consciously understood, they will always have that niggling feeling that ’something isn’t right’ and will never trust you.

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” – William Shakespeare

Be Straight and Honest – Always

You always know when someone is lying to you, or being nice rather than hurt your feelings.  Even if you are never 100% sure what the lie was, something in you will walk away from the conversation with a ‘feeling’ that something wasn’t quite right.  If you acknowledge this to be true then it follows that it will be the same for the people you work with.  We often fear the consequences of giving someone a piece of news that we feel would hurt or anger them.  This does not give the person you are talking to any credit for being able to deal with the absolute truth.  Practice in front of a mirror a difficult conversation you need to have without dressing it up, masking it or adding your personal view and edge to it.  Then practice it on a trusted friend who will give you feedback on how you came across.  Even if you need to deliver distressing news, human beings all deserve to be respected by giving them the truth so that they can have an opportunity to react appropriately.  To deny them this opportunity is wasteful and creates unnecessary emotional reactions which make your job twice as difficult.

Where is there dignity unless there is honesty? Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC)

Be Genuinely Kind

A genuine act of kindness will always be seen as just that.  Your ability to be genuinely kind will dramatically improve your relationships with your staff.  Perhaps one of your team would really appreciate the chance to leave 10 minutes earlier this week to help with a particular childcare problem, or perhaps you can offer a non-judgemental listening ear to someone who is having relationship problems?  Even the smallest act of kindness such as making the tea will be appreciated, even by the most cynical.  If you can do this without any expectation of compensation or return your team will be loyal to you and go the extra mile when you need them to.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.  ~ Samuel Johnson

Challenge your perceptions

Always remember that even if you are all in the same room, everyone will have a different view of it.  We all have our own particular viewpoint on any issue presented to us but rarely take the time to check what others see or feel.  When you ask someone their perspective you can often be surprised by their take on an issue.  Remember that no-one’s view is right or wrong we all just have different perspectives on things.  Asking your team their views and, wherever possible, incorporating them into your solutions will make your team feel valued and respected.

Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view. – Obi-Wan Kenobi

Many thanks to Brian Johnson at www.philosophersnotes.com for providing a wonderful quotes resource.

Posted in: Business Coaching, Management Training
Tags:compassion management,Management Training,manager,staff,staff management